Nooooo… I used to say,

“Do not intentionaly do anything that will make me hate you, simply cos I don’t want to.”

But when I look back at recent events, I feel like the tension is high most of the time. I sometimes have no idea how to act or what to say properly..heck, I’ve never been really good about  courtesy or manner, I’m in between. I have no doubt that some people would consider me as a blatantly speaking person.

Then when I come to think about my actions, have I been doing wrong? but, like unintentionaly..?

I never wanted to be an annoying person, but instead I became one. And again, I seemed to have done it unconsciously, through my words or behavior. And perhaps, somewhere in my mind, I thought that creating space through hatred was the quickest way of getting things done. I acted carelessly, without thinking twice, only because I thought I had nothing more to lose, and honestly there’s actually nothing much left in there, so yeah..what’s there to lose?.

Wrong ideas.

“You are what you think”, and so it became reflected in what I did. I guess I was confused. Not to mention what I got in return..more anger, cursing, pushing, ignorance..definitely not the good stuff.

And, it’s wrong. Annoying person is not lovable. Hating is exhausting, it consumes you from inside.  I guess I’ll have to pay more close attention from now on. I hope apology will still do the magic, if not..hmm oh well.. 🙂

“You cannot put out fire with flames.” ~ Old Turkish Proverb

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